Our weaning journey; baby-led weaning and breastfeeding
Sep 14, 2023
I began to wean my daughter when she was 7 months old which was when she was fulfilling the two out of the three prerequisites to begin weaning: being able to sit on her bottom on her own without support and being older than 6 months. She wasn;t really fulfilling the third one which is the child gazing at food or wanting to try the food in front of them, gazing at the others when eating etc.
I was very resistant to start weaning, I loved breastfeeding her so much and did not want this journey to be over. However I started getting excited with her sitting and eating with us and of course I didn't want to delay the joy of eating amazing nutritious food.
I had heard about baby led weaning and of course it made so much sense/ Put food in front of them, do nothing they said. And so I did, I cut a few pieces of avocado, sat her on the high chair and waited to see. She took the avocado, put it in her mouth, spit it and threw it away. And that was it. The first meal. It ended before it even started. I felt a bit disappointed, but anyway, we would try again soon. I went on to give her something different each day, preparing it with love and care, to see it ending up on the floor and not even putting it in her mouth to taste it.
Long story short, the baby led weaning in our situation indicated that my baby did not want to wean. She was leading me to the fact that food was not interesting to her and that we needed to wait.
This took us over a year. I often got disappointed that we were not able to enjoy a meal together. We were not able to sit at a restaurant for more than five minutes. The fact that I would put the most delicious food in front of her and she would still turn towards my breast. What have I done wrong? I was wondering as I was seeing all the other babies eating and exploring food. The progress was sooooo slow. She would eat only a few things; broccoli, eggs, avocado, smoothies, blueberries, rice cakes. She was always very keen on the diest food, crunchy stuff. When she started going to her childminder she slowly started eating the food there but still not as passionate about it. But if I was not around she would eat. This happens to this day that she is 3 years old almost. If i am not around she will have lot sof food.
It took us a really long time to feel like she is eating more than she is breastfeeding. Some children are like that. Even to the day I feel like this is what she prefers.
As I am embarking on a new baby making journey, something that I felt ready a few months ago, I started more intentionally to reduce breastfeeding. My oh my what a challenge. It was and still is extremely challenging. My daughter refuses to let go. I absolutely love breastfeeding but what is the hardest is the lack of routine and schedule, which served us great for the first couple of years but not anymore.
As you know I have struggled with amenorrhea in the past. Not seeing my period, due to breastfeeding for 3 years (since I became pregnant) has triggered some past trauma. Will I get it? Will I be able to have other children?
The intention to reduce breastfeeding was beneficial and in february 2023 i got my first bleed. I was so happy and excited. But my little one got sick and again she only wanted to bf after so much progress that we did. The more we spent time together the more she was on the boob. It took us physical distance to reduce breastfeeding when she was going to nursery or when I was working. I got my second period a couple months ago and have been getting it it monthly every since which makes me so happy and to trust that my body is working. However i am still wondering whether having one baby around my chest is energetically not allowing another to come? If I am 100% devoted to one child, where is the time and the space for another one? If the resources of my body are still used from my first, with who i HAVE such a strong bond, how can another one feel invited?
I have been listening to the spirit babies book and have been talking to this spirit baby to let them know we have time and space for them and that we are ready. I am waiting for a true miracle to happen again. I am also being reminded that the infant years with my first are almost over and that she will never be my little baby again, with whom I spend all day wandering around. That she will soon start to go to nursery and that we will be separated most of the week. So I am reminding myself ‘ slow down mama, all will happen at the right timing, enjoy the last few months of infancy before she is ready to go’.
